Hey Larry Hughes, Please Stop Taking So Many Bad Shots

Game 43: Jan 27, 2008. Cleveland 98 (win) at Los Angeles Lakers 95

FG          FG%         3P         3P%       FT       FT%   

7-13        .538        2-4       .500        0-0     .000

Jhonny Peralta Loans Contact Lenses To Larry Hughes

CLEVELAND (AP) - In a remarkable show of Cleveland sports solidarity, Cleveland Indians shortstop, Jhonny Peralta, has loaned his contact lenses to struggling Cleveland basketball player Larry Hughes.

Peralta, who struggled with his vision for several years, recently underwent LASIK eye surgery to permanently correct his acute myopia. “I tried to use the contacts, but it was too hard for me,” Peralta said. “And I had never seen a basketball player shoot as crappy as Larry Hughes, so I thought my contact lenses would help the team. If not, I can hook him up with my cousin Hector who manages a semi-pro basketball team in the Dominican Republic.”

Hughes, who is shooting just 34% from the field this season, shot an impressive 54% in his first game with the contact lenses. Hughes was thrilled with his newfound vision. “Once I got the contacts, the first thing I did was watch the instructional shooting video that the nice people at HLHPSTSMBS.com sent me for my birthday. I am so grateful for the tough love given to me by the Cavs fans around the world.”

Hughes’ teammates were also excited about his new contacts, “I was sick and tired of him calling me Sasha,” added Daniel Gibson. ”I’m just happy that Larry can tell me apart from that whining Serbian guy.”

LeBron James, who shouldered the team’s burden during Larry’s shooting slump, was almost in tears after the Lakers game. “FINALLY that slacker can start earning his paycheck. Sure, I’m happy to single-handedly defeat inferior teams like the Lakers, but it’s more fun telling Kobe that they were beaten by Mr. Glass. Now I’ve got smack-talk material against that verbal flopper for the next 2 months.”

Jan 25, 2008: Phoenix 110 at Cleveland 108 (loss)

FG          FG%         3P         3P%       FT         FT%   

6-13        .462        3-5       .600      10-11     .909

Damn that was close. The Cavs gotta be kicking themselves for not pulling that one out. Larry played much better and did some good things on the court last night. Face it, Larry sucked so bad in the first 41 games, no team is going to trade for him (note use of reverse psychology for Isiah Thomas). So we’re stuck, and we might as well cheer him on when he plays better.

The good:

• Larry scored 25 points and shot 46% from the field including 3-5 on three pointers.
• Larry got to the free throw line! He went 10-11 tonight.
• The 12 people who donated money for the Better Shooting 2 birthday gift can all pat themselves on the back for being personally responsible for his shooting improvement. 
• Larry had 8 rebounds - great total for your starting point guard.
• He also had 3 steals.

The not-so-good: 

• The Cavs lost the game.
• Larry threw the ball to the wrong guy on the inbounds play at the end of the game. Watch the video highlights or read Mr. Windhorst’s game recap in which he mentions “LeBron was angry about the last play of the game because the design got messed up. He wanted Larry Hughes to throw him the ball no matter what.”
• Larry played 35 minutes as our starting point guard and had ZERO assists.
• Defensively, we did not contain their guards. Nash and Bell scored a combined 53 points, shot 74% from the field, shot 68% on 3 pointers, had 8 rebounds, 13 assists and did what they needed to do to win the game.

Was tonight the return of Bizarro Larry Hughes? Nope, this was a better game by same-old-Larry. Bizarro Larry Hughes shoots better than 50%.

If you were a Vegas bookmaker, what odds would you set for Larry to have a repeat performance?

Well sports fans, the Cavs have played 41 games, which means it’s time for mid-season grades for Larry Hughes!

Games Played:  Grade = D
Larry missed 34% of the first 41 games due to a bone bruise injury sustained in mid-November. When you’re making $12 million a season, missing fourteen games in the first half of the season is 14 too many. 

Shooting Performance: Grade = F-minus
FG: 33%
3PT FG: 28%
FT: 86%
eFG: 37%
TS: 40.9%

How bad has his shooting been? His 33% on field goals ranks him DEAD LAST out the 65 shooting guards in the NBA.

And his 3 point shooting percentage is even worse. Did you know that Manute Bol shot better on 3-pointers in his 92-93 season than what Larry is tossing up in 2007-2008? For those of you who are too young to remember, Manute had such an awkward shot that teammates and fans alike would laugh at the sight of him taking a three pointer. But Manute still shot better than Larry this season. Making this more unbelievable is that Manute had a birth defect that left his right hand with 3 clawed fingers. It’s true!

Some may ask ”what about his 86% FT shooting in the first half?” and I say… WHO CARES! He’s only averaging 1.6 FT attempts per game and he’s had ZERO free throw attempts in 17 out of the 27 games he’s played this season.

And for those Hughes fans that blame Mike Brown’s offense because it doesn’t suit Larry’s awesome ”slasher” capabilities, I present to you this stat: Larry is shooting 29-79 (36%) on shots within 2 feet of the basket. Wouldn’t the area right underneath the basket be the ultimate “slasher zone” for a slasher? Or is he a medium-range-slasher?

Player Efficiency Rating: Grade F

This is a nifty stat provided by ESPN’s John Hollinger. If you’re not familiar with PER, here’s a quick explanation:

The formula, which Hollinger calls the Player Efficiency Rating (PER), takes into account positive accomplishments, such as field goals, free throws, 3-pointers, assists, rebounds, blocks and steals, and negative ones, such as missed shots, turnovers and personal fouls. The formula adds positive stats and subtracts negative ones through a statistical point value system. The rating for each player is then adjusted to a per-minute basis so that, for example, you can compare subs with starters in frequent playing time debates. It is also adjusted for the team’s pace. In the end, one number sums up the players’ accomplishments (the statistical ones, anyway) for that season.

So how does Larry Rank? 
#60 out of 65 Shooting Guards in the NBA
#277 out of 297 players in the NBA.

The Intangibles: Grade = D+

Another stat that attempts to measure the intangibles is the “On Court vs Off Court Data” provided by 82Games.com. It’s a simple concept: it examines how a team plays with and without a player. It gives a pretty good sense of how well that player is fitting in with the roster and gets at all of the ‘little things’ that current statistics don’t track (setting screens, taking charges, drawing double teams, etc).

The Cavaliers score .5 fewer points on offense when Larry is in the game. And on defense they give up 2.1 more points, which means Larry scores -2.6 for this stat. Translation: the Cavs perform better with him OFF the court than with him on the court. (Note: his +/- was -5 before Wednesday’s blowout against the Wiz.) While some may consider this stat to be unfair because Larry hasn’t played in all the games this year, his 2007-2008 performance is actually better than his Plus/Minus from the 2006-2007 season.

. 

Final Grade: D-minus 

It’s no secret that Larry’s been struggling all season, but it’s shocking that his crappiness has been so consistent. Larry has failed to shoot better than 37% in consecutive games all season. He’s shot worse than 35% in 17 games and he’s shot below 50% in 22. If he’s a streaky shooter, this is the longest bad streak of his career.

So why not an F? Well, he’s got decent rebound stats, and we have a few commenters here that insist he’s a great defensive contributor to this team. (Mind you, this is not 2004 and he’s not playing for the Wizards.) And I’m sure they haven’t noticed the trend of Mike Brown benching our defensive wunderkind during 4th quarter crunchtime, but I’m sure that’s the right way to handle a player of Larry’s defensive prowess. 

 With numbers like these…

If Larry Hughes was still in high school, he would have been demoted to the JV team. If Larry was in college, they would have shipped him off to the intramural leagues. But Larry plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers, so it only makes sense that he’s been promoted to be our starting point guard.  

Jan 23, 2008: Washington 85 at Cleveland 121 (win)

FG          FG%         3P         3P%      FT     FT%   

2-8        .250         0-2       .000      0-0     .000

Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah bad shots, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah - blahblah blah blah, blah blah 2-8.

Blah blah kitten alert! Blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah 25%.

Blah????

Blah!

Blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah…. blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blahblah blah. Blah blah blahblah kitten alert! Blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah team shot 57% including Larry’s 2-8.

Blah.Blah.Blah.

January 23 is a special day! Not only is it the anniversary of the deadliest earthquake in recorded history, it’s also the birthday of our very own Larry Hughes.

And guess who else was born on January 23rd? MacGyver!

Makes me wonder if MacGyver could use his Swiss Army Knife, a ballpoint pen, chewing gum, and some magnesium to fix Larry’s broken shot?

If not, don’t worry-we’ve got things covered. Here at HLHPSTSMBS.com, we try to take a proactive role in making our Cavaliers better. Sure, we could just sit back and take pot shots at Larry’s horrific shooting, but what if Larry doesn’t read the site?

Well thanks to the kind donations of the Cavaliers’ finest fans, I’m thrilled to announce we’ve raised $29.95 and purchased a special gift for Larry. 

It’s an instructional DVD called “Better Shooting 2” and it’s coming to a 33% shooter near you!

Special thanks to these dedicated Cleveland fans for making this possible:
David Simmers, Ray Martinez, Donna Klett, Joseph Feldstein, Milton from the Philippines, Tom Nemcek, The City of Columbus, Mike Cooken-chicken, Greatgoo, Tim Farrell, and halftimeadjustments.com.